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| At the Kaiser Willhern (I think that is the spelling) in a nearby town called Minden |
The past 3-4 days I have had so many people organise something for me and it is very hard to keep track of what I am supposed to be doing at certain times so I am doing my best to keep things in a calendar either on my phone or on paper etc. I am desperately trying to find a nice stationary store so I can organise my school work and exchange stuff properly (maybe I will find one in Berlin). So today I am off to German lessons in a town 10min away and tomorrow I have lessons as well as I really need them! but I am looking forward to them and doing some hard work with my German. On Monday I am either playing tennis with a friend or going to my second Rotary meeting.
WHICH reminds me I had my first Rotary meeting and met all the people I had been emailing before I arrived in Germany so that was nice to put a face behind the email. It is very different here as my Rotary club is all male but they are all very nice people and surprisingly a lot of them are quite young. At this Rotary meeting we had Rebounders (people who had just finished their exchange) present about their year. One girl was on exchange in Brazil and the other in Mexico and it was very interesting and different to what my exchange has been like so far I think due to the extremely different cultures. I realized that their year was over in a flash and when you want it to go quickly you won't realize it but it will and if you want it to go slow it will go even faster. So after feeling a little homseick and after falling in love with a town in Germany nothing comes to be more profound than the fact that I am doing this and I am here right now in this moment. It is really the crazy, simple , little things that have made up my first weeks.
So with all the mixed feelings that come out in your last week at home right through to the end of your first week on exchange, these are my top 5 tips for handling the culture shock etc.....
Do not fill your head with high expectations or what you think it will be like or what you want it to be like because it is going to be different (not better not worse just different). No matter what mind-concoction you make of your host family or what your house will be like it IS going to be very different from anything you will think. You have to lower you expectations of things so that when it comes around you are pleasantly surprised although this is easier said than done, so you need to find your own ways of lowering your expectations as this can be different for everyone. For instance now, instead of thinking about what my day at school will be like or how cool it will be if I talk to this person or that person, I think about what may happen realistically.
This has helped me so much. My first week I was quite homesick and this different for everyone but I knew that I was thinking about home too much and all I could think about was what I was missing out on at home. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. You are not missing out on anything at home you are living an adventure even though at times that adventure include hours on netflix. So on my first week I would wake up and my first thought would be about home but now I am fixated everyday on the things I have to do, it is like giving yourself distractions so much that they become your life and not distractions anymore.
I think many exchange students overlook this 'tip' whether it is because they are negligent of any rules like drinking or drugs or because they just can't accept a new culture. If you surround yourself with people you don't want to be around or who you do not share common interests with it will be hard for you to find your way especially if you leave it and wait 3 months to find another friend group at school. Your first days at school are vital to what people's first impressions are of you.
If all you can think about is when you will get to see your family again OR you can't wait until you get to this date or that date because of Eurotour or something you need some serious coping strategies because otherwise you will have these moments where you just feel like crap. One such coping strategy I used was breaking down my exchange into months; I planned one special thing each month well I tried to do my best to and then gave my self something each day to look forward to and I can look at it all everyday as it is on a wall calendar so very clear and I cross each day of as I go.
When I arrived I felt like I was a human in the movie planet of the apes so I needed to unpack all my things which was really hard when your feeling homesick as it is like a step away from home and you cannot accept it. Especially with the language it will feel crazy and you won't understand A THING well for most people hehe. The next day I was basically home alone as my host family had school and work so I took the dog for a walk and this walk (I don't want to say changed my life because it sounds cheesy it it did) completely warped my outlook on my town and my family and the life I will make for myself here....all of this thinking due to me walking through sunshine, beautiful snow and then ... the church bells rang and I was hooked. Now every time I hear the church bells when I am at school etc I think of this moment and it is wonderful.
So with all the mixed feelings that come out in your last week at home right through to the end of your first week on exchange, these are my top 5 tips for handling the culture shock etc.....
01 Reality check; lower your expectations
Do not fill your head with high expectations or what you think it will be like or what you want it to be like because it is going to be different (not better not worse just different). No matter what mind-concoction you make of your host family or what your house will be like it IS going to be very different from anything you will think. You have to lower you expectations of things so that when it comes around you are pleasantly surprised although this is easier said than done, so you need to find your own ways of lowering your expectations as this can be different for everyone. For instance now, instead of thinking about what my day at school will be like or how cool it will be if I talk to this person or that person, I think about what may happen realistically.
02 Give yourself something to look forward to about the next day
This has helped me so much. My first week I was quite homesick and this different for everyone but I knew that I was thinking about home too much and all I could think about was what I was missing out on at home. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. You are not missing out on anything at home you are living an adventure even though at times that adventure include hours on netflix. So on my first week I would wake up and my first thought would be about home but now I am fixated everyday on the things I have to do, it is like giving yourself distractions so much that they become your life and not distractions anymore.
03 YOU make your exchange what it is
I think many exchange students overlook this 'tip' whether it is because they are negligent of any rules like drinking or drugs or because they just can't accept a new culture. If you surround yourself with people you don't want to be around or who you do not share common interests with it will be hard for you to find your way especially if you leave it and wait 3 months to find another friend group at school. Your first days at school are vital to what people's first impressions are of you.
04 Break down your exchange
If all you can think about is when you will get to see your family again OR you can't wait until you get to this date or that date because of Eurotour or something you need some serious coping strategies because otherwise you will have these moments where you just feel like crap. One such coping strategy I used was breaking down my exchange into months; I planned one special thing each month well I tried to do my best to and then gave my self something each day to look forward to and I can look at it all everyday as it is on a wall calendar so very clear and I cross each day of as I go.
05 Find beauty and sanctuary in the small things (sounds cliche I know)
When I arrived I felt like I was a human in the movie planet of the apes so I needed to unpack all my things which was really hard when your feeling homesick as it is like a step away from home and you cannot accept it. Especially with the language it will feel crazy and you won't understand A THING well for most people hehe. The next day I was basically home alone as my host family had school and work so I took the dog for a walk and this walk (I don't want to say changed my life because it sounds cheesy it it did) completely warped my outlook on my town and my family and the life I will make for myself here....all of this thinking due to me walking through sunshine, beautiful snow and then ... the church bells rang and I was hooked. Now every time I hear the church bells when I am at school etc I think of this moment and it is wonderful.
